Masculinity and Jesus Redux
Stuart Delony has a post with a video interview of Eldredge over at his blog. I watched the interview and immediately thought of a post of my own from some months ago. I’m not saying Eldredge specifically embodies all of the things I criticize in that post. In fact, I think he stands against some of them. However, Mandy was certainly, shall we say, displeased when Eldredge mentioned his thought that women don’t really want “nice guys.”
I think Eldredge may be onto something with his idea that men seek adventure. However, I would modify it and say people seek adventure. We, as human beings, long for a purpose to our lives. We want to have exciting things happen to us. Harry Potter isn’t a bestselling series because it has pretty jacket art. It’s about a normal boy who discovers he is extraordinary. It resonates with us; not only “us” as men, but us as humans. I enjoy playing RPGs because of the sweeping, epic stories that they tell. I enjoy taking on that role, and for a few moments being abnormal (in a positive sense). Mandy enjoys the same games, and for similar reasons. This post isn’t really about games, but I’ll take a brief rabbit trail: I think that this is also the reason that games can become a very unhealthy obsession. Of course, so can other forms of media and entertainment.
I agree that sometimes men are expected to hide their passions, desires and dreams. That needs to stop. But the way to stop it is not to encourage men to be wild and unrestrained in regards to their passions. Just because I am a guy does not allow me the luxury of letting the sun set on my anger. It doesn’t give me the luxury of not having to worry about physically injuring someone. I must still control myself and live in humility and at peace with all human beings – as much as it depends on me.
Perhaps none of this matters though, if we don’t share a standard definition of masculinity. I think that, in recent years, masculinity is a word that has been thrown around in many contexts within Christianity, specifically within Evangelicalism™ and yet lacks any real solid shared definition. When I think of masculine I think of hairy chests, burps, trucks with big tires, and other things that go along with that. Eldredge seems to indicate that this isn’t what he thinks when he thinks of masculinity. Of course, he talks alot about “passions” and how since our prisons are filled with men that society has seen this and wants to take passion away from men and make them passive. If we could define passion I might agree. Passiveness isn’t really a good thing. On the other hand being an “in your face” kind of guy isn’t really a good thing either. As with everything balance is needed.
Ultimately I think that what we really need to focus on was summed up by the greatest man: Love God, Love Others.
Masculine = Woolrich!
Seriously though, I think the things you mention as commonly associated with masculine are perhaps more appropriately labeled “redneck.” When I think of masculine I think less of the macho bravado stuff (hyper-masculine? sub-masculine? stupid?) and more of attributes like passionate, adventurous, protective and physically-engaged.
I guess none of those things are male-specific, so I digress. I mean, Dr. Keith Ablow had “chick fighters” on his show today, so I can’t even say that kicking someone’s arse is masculine.