For those of you who frequently read my blog, you will know that I have a bit of a split personality. I really enjoy teaching teenagers. I’m absolutely passionate about expecting more out of them than most people expect. I’m excited about opportunities to help them grow, and to otherwise shepherd them. You will also realize that I am fairly academically minded, and that I’m a pretty odd-ball youth pastor (I’m working on learning a third dead language, and will probably pick up a forth next semester). If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time you will know that I post things in three broad categories: personal reflections, youth ministry related, and Bible/academic related. If you were to check my archives you’d see that every so often I have this argument with myself about whether I should get a PhD, and if I did what use it would be to a youth pastor. For example, a post from three years ago; another from last year. Well, history tends to repeat itself.
For some time now certain parties in my life that I trust have been convinced that I should give up the youth pastor thing, at least long term, and become a scholar/professor. Mandy has recently decided to side with them (not to imply that there is a battle going on, more a discussion among those people involved in my life whose judgment I value). As far as my friends and those who I’ve given permission to speak into my life go, they fall into two categories: those who are so tired of my constant struggling with this issue that they refuse to say anything more about it, and those who generally encourage me to stick it out in ministry. To be honest, since becoming involved formally in academia again, after my two year hiatus following my undergraduate work, I’ve begun to realize how much I missed it. In the past I’ve always wondered what a youth pastor would do with a PhD, never truly considering the possibility that after seminary I might no longer serve in the capacity of a youth pastor.
My real purpose with this post is to try to get some of my thoughts out of my head. I’d absolutely love Dumbledore’s Pensieve at this point, and if anyone could provide me with one I would be eternally grateful. In lieu of that fine instrument, my blog will have to suffice.
With that in mind, here are my thoughts as they stand at present:
Why not become a professor/scholar:
1. What if God really has called me to be a youth pastor?
2. Mandy and I both love the Hebrew Bible, but we don’t necessarily share the same research interests. Getting my PhD after her (which is the only acceptable chronological order of events) would mean another 10-15 years, or more, in school after we graduate from GCTS. Getting our PhDs at the same time would be, in a word, stressful
3. I don’t want Mandy to feel like I’m stealing her thunder.
4. Will I be satisfied teaching at a college, but not teaching high school students?
5. Can I hack it?
6. Do I only feel this way because I feel like I’m not a very good youth pastor?
Wow. A part of me wants to make comments on each of those, and another part wants to let them stand. Perhaps I’ll compromise, and annotate only briefly:
1. I guess the only thing to be said for this is to figure out if he has or hasn’t. But that’s more complex than it sounds. I’ve been pursuing this direction for quite some time now, and have been convinced that God has called me to it. Was I wrong? If so, how do I know I’m right now? Or perhaps I’m being to mystical about the whole thing, and God just wants me to do what he has gifted me to do in one way or another.
2. What more can one say? Aside from wondering at the likelihood of both of us being accepted to the same school, receiving funding, or even finding a school where there would be an advisor for both of us.
3. She assures me that she doesn’t feel this way, and that she would actually love for both of us to get PhDs and teach.
4. I’ve got quite a pastoral heart about some things. But I think I could manage by mentoring a few students, and teaching a junior high Sunday school class that worked its way through the Hebrew Bible on a two or three year cycle.
5. I’m sure everyone asks this question. I guess I can take a class at Harvard to find out.
6. This is tied to another issue, which has to do with something a person who hurt me very much said. Nevertheless, I think it is a valid concern.
I’m sure this post has been too personal for some of you. I apologize. We’ll return to our regularly scheduled blogging shortly.
Hey Calvin,
I just finished up at GCTS in December, and I am currently going through the doctoral application process, which is excruciating, I might add! Here’s some advice: take as many BTI courses as possible, and not just the ones that everyone else takes. Folks will tell you to take Hebrew Rapid Reading, which you should do, but you should also stretch yourself and take some seminars that are taught by actual professors. Then you will get the best of both worlds. If you decide to follow an academic path, then you will have a head start for your CV and such. If you decide on a pastoral path, then at least you will get to scratch your academic itch.
I took rapid reading, a seminar on the book of Exodus (Machinist), a seminar on the hist. and arch. of Phoenicia (Stager and Machinist), and historiography of the ANE (Machinist). These courses were invaluable, regardless of whether or not I make it at the PhD level. I was able to challenge myself academically and, best of all, interact with some of the most accomplished scholars in the world. The BTI is an awesome opportunity. More GCTS students should take advantage of it.
Calvin,
I’m glad to see you’re opening this discussion up to a large number of folks to give you their input. I’ve walked with you through this journey for countless years now and I think you’d be much better served by simply sitting back and seeing what those closest to you say, as opposed to dialogging with them. I honestly think you could go either way: scholar or pastor, but I think you’d better service the Church by doing both.
Academia has plenty of people willing to do ANE studies, but our churches don’t have many youth pastors who are exceptionally educated. But there are too few pastors who are adequately equipped, imo, to intelligently handle the balance between community theologian and community mentor/counselor.
Now that you’ve heard my opinion (again) I think the best thing is to sit back, let those who know you speak into your life and just see where the wind blows. I’m sure that there’s a ‘correct’ answer to your question, but based on how I’ve watched God work in your life I highly doubt your going to get that answer by doing anything besides sitting back and waiting.
xoxo,
Earl
I didn’t mean to kill the conversation…
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