Almost there…

I just realized that after this week, all my "big" projects are done for college. Forever. I mean, sure, I will have GRAD work to do whenever I start work on my masters, but I’m almost done. I mean, that is an incredible thought. After this week I have a few small assignments, an exam or two, and some quizes. Oh, and a Hebrew IV project…but that’s going to be loads of fun. The one project that is due on Thursday is basically done already (at least to the point of being able to turn it in). I have a paper due on Thursday also, but I haven’t even started on that…I’ll do it tonight and tomorrow. I don’t really understand what the professor wants, so I’ve been procrastinating. Anyway…<br />
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But, this brings me to the real reason for this entry…"Almost there…" the question that keeps going through my mind though, is where is there? I mean, I’m almost there, but where am I? When I came to Davis four years ago I figured that I’d be putting my resume into churches by now. But after four years of college I realize that I need far more education to be truly ready. Given, my internship at Berean has taught me tons, as have most of my classes, but where now? I mean, the plan is for my wife and I to pay off our debt, and I want to talk some online courses from Gordon-Conwell, maybe even get an MA in Biblical Languages from them. I would REALLY love to get an MA in Hebrew Studies from UW-Madison…but that is a difficult thing to do. But, then I’m drawn back to the fact that I want to work with Youth. Churches are going to look at me oddly, "Hi, I’m applying to be the youth pastor here…I have a BRE in Bible/Theology and an MA in Hebrew." "That’s nice…what’s your ministry experience…" "Well, I was an intern once." "MmmHmmm…." "Tell us some about your philosophy of discipleship." "Well, I think teens should learn Hebrew and Greek, maybe have a Bar-Mitzvah type thing at 16…" "Aha….NEXT!"<br />
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So, I mean…I long to work with teens, to disciple them, to help them become devoted followers of Jesus Christ. But, a degree in Hebrew? Or even one in Biblical Languages? One of my professor’s says we need more Pastors (including Youth Pastor’s) with PhD’s, I agree…but I mean, "Hi, I have a PhD from the University of Wisconsin at Madison in Hebrew Studies, I’d like to be a youth pastor." Most churches are looking for people with M.Divs, Th.Ms, or D.Min’s who’s dissertations are on ministry type things, not the mismatched pronouns of Ruth chapter 1. <strong>sigh</strong> I just don’t know. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this lost in my life. I know, my wife tells me "Faith…" and I do have faith…but still, where am I going? I know I will be in the Binghamton area for at least three years, paying off debt and doing some online courses. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I’m going to get too attached to these teens at Berean (really, I already am). In three years I will have seen an entire four years of graduates from our ministry. Do you think I’m going to want to leave? No way! I’m my mother’s son, I put down roots. I won’t want to leave. That’s scares me too. I see myself always working some job I don’t like and being a volunteer at the ministry at Berean. Not that it would be a terrible life, but I want to be able to devote TIME to the youth ministry. <img src="http://aidan.strateia.org/templates/default/img/emoticons/sad.png&quot; alt=":(" style="display: inline; vertical-align: bottom;" class="emoticon" /> I just don’t know. I’m nervous. <br />
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I’m almost there…but where is "there" anyway? <br />
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"Have faith," I’m told.<br />
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"Trust God," I’m told.<br />
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"God will lead you," I’m told. <br />
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Maybe I’m just impatient, but it’d be nice if He gave me a little idea of what I’m shooting for next.

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